LETTER TO SONY: How to make the PS4 as Successful as the Wii U

With the Gaming Journalists™ raving about the unprecedented sales performance of the Wii U, it’s time to for Sony to get a few pointers on how to make their upcoming Playstation 4 reveal and launch to be as successful as Nintendo’s magnum opus.

Don’t name the system Playstation 4

Naming it the PS4 would make it seem like it is superior or different from the PS3. Nintendo smartly avoided this by naming their system Wii U, which conveys absolutely no implication of a successor or improvement. In fact, it makes it sound like Ubisoft’s Udraw tablet add-on for the Wii, which is a great idea because that is also a tablet that could be used with the Wii.

Since the Wii U had a tablet controller, people would totally think it’s a Wii bundled with the Udraw tablet, and that is guaranteed sales! Do the same for the PS4, and see the money be raked in.

Design the system to look exactly like the Playstation 3

I already have the Wii, can’t I get the tablet separately?

Nintendo designed the system that if anyone saw a photo of it, they would think it was a Wii. Which is a great idea, because everyone bought the Wii in the past. By having costumers confuse the Wii U for a Wii, you get to ride off the immense success of the Wii. If you design the PS4 to look exactly like the PS3, people will think it’s a PS3 and gladly buy the same thing again!

Heck, you guys already did the same thing with the Vita (which looks exactly like a PSP), and it’s success in the marketplace shows what a great idea this is.

This is not the Playstation Vita.

This is not the Playstation Vita.

Make producing the console extremely expensive

The Wii U has a tablet controller that costs $85 a piece. This controller dramatically increases the production costs of the Wii U, to the point that Nintendo makes a loss even while selling it at the extremely high price point of $350, despite the system’s specs being not much different than the PS3 and Xbox 360. The higher price tag makes it seem like a premium product, and people always want the more expensive product.

You guys did great with the PS3, making it such a swiss-army knife of technology that made it début at $600; and we saw just how great the PS3 sold back when it was at that price point.

Produce ads that will hide the fact that it is a new game system

Alongside the name and design, Nintendo also went to great lengths to hide the fact that the Wii U was a new system with their TV ads.

By making sure that the new system was obscured and that it was never mentioned, putting the focus only on the tablet controller, and showcasing the types of games you already saw and had on the Wii, you got a marketing campaign that successfully and actively misinformed the public that a new system came out, and that you were still advertising your old last-gen system.

Release the entire game library at launch

People don’t like waiting for games, so what better way to avoid this by releasing everything the system has right at launch? Big launches are always more important that a filled release schedule, so if you have every game the system has out by launch (just like the Wii U did), the costumer has the entire library to pick from right at launch. People won’t care about the huge drought that will come later because they have a huge backlog of games to play!

Also, once they play everything they wanted, they will have fun going on message boards and patiently waiting for the next game worth buying for months because there’s nothing else to play on the system.

Be arrogant, believe you are invincible

You already did that well with the PS3. Carry on.

Focus on things other than games

Instead of putting out compelling new software, Nintendo is spending their valuable resources on little toys like Wii Street U, which is free for a limited time, meaning they will eventually charge people to pay for this stuff. This will surely get your gaming audience to stand by you no matter what, and you will gain the respect of everyone in the industry.

Invest in similar stuff, Sony; you’re missing out on the Google Streetview audience!!!

Make it for no one

Nintendo provided masks so that Wii U buyers can hide their shame.

Most importantly of all, don’t have a target audience at all. Nintendo wanted to attract the hardcore gamers, so they made a controller with dual analog sticks and most of the buttons you find on a competitor’s console (but not all of them); but they also want to attract the casuals, so they made the controller like a tablet and made it graphically behind so that they could sell it a “low” price. Of course, those things contradict, and you had a tablet controller that was too complicated and feature-less for the casual market, and a system that was too underpowered for the gaming masses.

The system appeals to no one, no one gets it, no one wants it, no one can even tell the difference between it and the system they bought six years ago, let alone why they should get one. So Sony, if you want your PS4 to be as successful as the Wii U, make sure to do all of the above.

You’re good at copying, what are you waiting for?

About the author: The Sheep is a die-hard Nintendo fanboy. Having grown up with Nintendo games, he can’t imagine how anyone can not like Mario and the classic Nintendo franchises. He owns a full collection of Nintendo plushies which he poses accordingly.