COW: Why is the Vita dying?

Sony stock plummets under $10

The biased “gaming art and business” site Gamasutra just proved their anti-Sony slant by publishing a ridiculous figure that claims that the Nintendo 3DS has been outselling the Vita 47-to-1 in Japan.

Those numbers are outright lies. In the US, the 3DS is only selling 5-to-1 against the Vita, so it’s impossible that the only country where the PSP was a success could be rejecting the Vita like every other country. I refuse to believe it!

The Vita is superior hardware, it cannot fail! What in the world are people’s problems that they want to buy the kiddy 3DS instead of the manly Vita?


Fanboys keep saying “the Vita has no library”, but that is not true! Just this week, the Vita exclusive Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified was released. The home console version sold almost 7 million copies in its first day, that means the Vita version must have sold a lot as well!

The Vita also got an exclusive Assassin’s Creed game! People played that one too, right? I don’t actually know, because neither Ubisoft or Sony have told us how much it sold, but they did say they were “pleased”…which is good!

Sony even has a videogame coming out in the future for the Vita! It’s made by Media Molecule, the guys who did LittleBigPlanet! It’s called Tearaway, and it totally exists.

It is the only biggest upcoming release on the Vita. I don’t see how anyone might think that isn’t enough to warrant a purchase of a Vita. Who really buys more than two or three games a year anyway?


Anti-Sony fanboys claim that the Vita is “expensive” and “has hidden costs”, just because it needs “overpriced” memory cards to play games despite the system using cartridges that can save data on them; and claim that Sony is “milking them”.

Well, as a fellow Cow, I can prove to you that is not true.

First of all, nobody thinks that. Only people that could possibly entertain the idea that the Vita is not the best value on the market are no-name publications like Forbes and TIME Magazine. Who in the world reads those?


The Vita is absolute greatest handheld system ever created, so it’s absolutely ridiculous that people would claim that the Vita is bad hardware. Just look at the graphics!

That looks just like the PS3 game! Sure, it’s not native rez, and most big games tend to have performance problems, but it looks amazing on cropped-down and tiny screenshots like that!

And of course, weirdos will say that it “sucks the life out of the batteries” and “creates overly long load times” and that “it shows that Sony has absolutely no idea why people play handheld games”.

Baloney. Sony knows that people play handheld games to play console games on the go; that is why the PSP was such a success.


The most perplexing part about all of this that people are choosing the 3DS over the Vita! I just don’t get it, the thing looks like a toy; it comes in various bright colors and is durable enough to withstand kids dropping it!

The mature Vita doesn’t do any of that, it only comes in black and white and can break just by dropping it on the floor; it’s a true Adult gamer’s handheld.

It’s also sold for a much cheaper price than the Vita; people just buy it because they can “buy one and a whole bunch of games they want for it” for the price of a Vita without the memory stick.

I’m sorry, but is that really a good thing? Do you feel comfortable buying something with so much value, when you could have gotten something much more expensive? Everyone knows the most expensive device is always the better one!

Also, for some reason, people are buying stuff like tablets instead of the Vita. What a crazy world we live in! The Vita can work like a tablet, too! It has a touch screen, some apps, and a browser! Sure, the touch screen is not vertically centered and greasy, the app selection is laughable, and the browser is marked to be worst single internet browser on every single gaming system, even than the DSi; but it works!

I just don’t get it. Everybody should be loving this thing. Sony knows they are doing the right thing, which is why they are doing nothing at all.

So who should I believe? Sony, or everyone else?

About the author: The Cow is an avid lifelong fanboy of all things Playstation. Having grown up with Playstation systems and games, he can’t imagine a world where people think gaming means anything other than Playstation. He became a game journalist and looks up to one day live up to the professional practices of IGN and Kotaku.


11 responses to “COW: Why is the Vita dying?

  1. Pingback: ARTICLE: The PS4 Launch is a Roaring Success! | System Wars Magazine·

  2. you dont understand basic economics if you think the entire reason for sales drop is the price point
    you dont even understand the stock ticker you took a screenshot of, this blogspot article is laughable. and im sure you will renege everything you’ve written a year from now

  3. Pingback: Article: Dumb Moments in Gaming 2012 | System Wars Magazine·

  4. Nice read, but if you want to be a real cow you need to be significantly more asinine than this.

    P.S.- PS4 will suck just like Vita. Eat it cow.

  5. If vita had access to PS3s extensive PSN games, then it could really be a great device. But that is not the case. Maybe in two to three years when its cheap and there are some good games out for it, will I pick one up.

  6. Same reason the PSP sucked: Shit software. There isn’t a single must-have on either one of those handhelds. In this economy, you simply cannot launch an entire new line of hardware without killer apps. There’s not enough fat on the land to spare for minor novelties.

    Sadly, you can make this argument for virtually all of the video game market right now. The whole industry has jettisoned good story telling, creative graphics and gameplay mechanics for cheap, flashy novelties.

    The problem with novelty is that it wears off fast and then you’re just left with reality. Remember the first time you realized the Wii controller is laggy as hell and imprecise? Yeah. Get used to that.

  7. sorry i have to write something. i bought a 3ds when it came out, i got so frustrated with the lack of good games that i eventually bought a vita – it’s the best thing i’ve ever owned… it’s more expensive, but it should be it’s also much better. If you want a good hand held with decent, deep games, get a vita – there isn’t really 2 ways about it.

  8. The problem with your theory is that Nintendo always tries to give you an alternate console feeling with their handhelds witch actually makes sense because gamers like something different on the go. Besides we play our consoles enough. When you are at home and you want to play a handheld are you going to pick up the system that is like the one you were just playing or one that is different and fun. Oh yeah and software. More consoles = More games

  9. HAHAHAH nice article, it will bomb because Vita its a stupid name for a console, it will fail because of the propietary Memory cards, and it will fail because Sony its just a stuborn company.

    • You will fail Vick because you’re an asshole. The Vita just came out this year and all this Bullshit is coming from Nintendo fan boys even the journalist are nothing but big N fan boys after all. Vick is a stupid name it sound like my sister name which is better…. Who would name a boy Vick unless you’re gay and suck Super Mario balls. Weird… it just weird you know the time difference between the two last year 2011 the 3DS came out no good games and more. The Vita just got started this year, and the road ahead may be long, but unlike Nintendo which in 5 years they will be replacing it with something new and out of date anyways.

    • Wii, and even more-so,Wii U is proof you can give a device a shit tier name and it will still sell. Vita isn’t struggling because of it’s crappy name, it’s struggling because of it’s crappy software.

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