LAST TIME ON SYSTEM WARS: March 13, 2011

789Shadow: Here’s “Previously on System Wars”:

-Instant rage-inducing word of the week; CONSOLIZATION

-A new Zelda trailer is released at GDC. It is instantly vilified for replacing Link with Hitler taking place entirely within the Temple of the Ocean King, and having the companion character be Tingle and Navi inhabiting the same body. Also, the villian looks like he is halfway through his dastardly plan to steal all of Hyrule’s purple eyeliner.

-The PS3 is made illegal in Europe. 360 wins by default.

-Dragon Age 2 is released for the PS3, 360, PC, and Leapster.

-Crysis fans mourn the loss of destructible tin shacks.

-The man, the legend, Captain Obvious himself appears at Nintendo’s GDC conference to announce that a Super Mario game will be coming to the 3DS.

-Sony fights Geohotz by stealing everyone’s personal information from Twitter and Amazon before he can.

-Pokemon Black and White pit you against PETA on steroids.

-Contestants in Ironshop 2010 foolishly believe they have a chance against LegendofNerd and Meatboy Mona Lisa.

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